The Shaolin Cowboy: Who'll Stop the Reign? #3

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It ain't Arby's but we got the meats when the Shaolin Cowboy goes to Halal and back.  Caught between the cloven and the clawed, can a karate chop beat the pork chop and still win in a pinch?  Hog Kong and King Crab and his band of minimum-wage assassins all say, "NO!" Will our hero win by popular "smote"-or die by electoral carnage?