I weep. I weep for the poor. I weep for the down-trodden. I weep for the warped thinking of political progressives. But most of all, I weep for Blonde Justice, a woman who uses yarn for a wig.

Hey, Im a killer spy and Ive got my secretary on the phone who will totally ruin your credit!

Enter "Damsel in Distress" Princess Ereshka, whose injured but unbroken body is found by the also injured but unbroken hands of Conan on the battlefield of the fallen army of Lord Than. A battle meant to be lost as Lord Than sacrificed his army and his principles to a Dark God named Nergal on promises of glory, immortality and the hand of the Princess to wife.

Superman #674Posted: Friday, March 14, 2008By: Luis Pagan Kurt BusiekRenato Guedes & Jos Wilson MagalhasDC Comics If you got the powers of a god, then by George, you should have the penthouse of a god! And now, thanks to Supes super powers of construction management, he does!

Just ask 3 men, 4 women, and a cat named Viskers.

Its no doom talking fish, but hey, I got low standards.

Ultimate Spider-Man #119Posted: Tuesday, March 4, 2008By: Luis Pagan Brian Michael BendisStuart ImmonenMarvel Comics At the moment I have issues with Spider-Man, but I dont want that to detract from the review of Ultimate Spider-Man #119. So I trained Frankie the chimpanzee to beat me with this club should I stray.

What if I just carved a ribbon out of wood? Its a ribbon, but I carved it. Its manly. Its sensitive. Its wood!