Superheroes for Hire's Profile

This comic epitomizes what is wrong with DC. You have two mercenaries in Snyder and Williamson leading the pack of mundane and uninspired writers. These are cannibals, picking at the feet of their betters, scraping the tombstone library of story-past for any epitaph to sustain an event or story arc or whatever you want to call the derivative droll they put out.

Long gone are the days of wonder, the imaginary beyonds of Fox and Broome and Haney and Kanigher.

Julie Schwartz would be turning in his grave. Jack Kirby too.

There is a reason for the alienation of true auteurs in this industry: Morrison, Moore, Gaiman. Because even as they try to bring comic books back to their roots of poetry and mythology, the Empty Hand manifests itself to reap. They came, they conquered, and they departed after realizing there were better things to do than play back & forth with the carrion crows who run DC.

DC has been hanging under the fangs of the Empire of Mammon since the Golden Age, when Liebowitz and Donnenfeld stripped the company from its original owner, Major Wheeler-Nicholson.

What's happening now is more insidious. An ultra-pollution of the narrative, a sacrifice submitted to strobe-torture before being disemboweled. These people are going to ruin everything just to feed their wallets.

If you don't believe me, read this book:

"WHAT IF EVERYONE JOINED THE JUSTICE LEAGUE?"

"WHAT IF DARKSEID AND THE SPECTRE MERGED?"

"WHAT IF DARKSEID FOUGHT EVERYBODY AND BEAT THEM WITH HIS LAZER BEAMS?"

"WHAT IF HE MADE A BAD UNIVERSE WHERE EVERYTHING IS BADDER AND MORE BAD?"

"wait, don't we already have Earth-3 and the Antimatter Univ-"

"WHAT IF EVERYBODY WAS A DARKSEID AND THEY HAD HIS LOGO?"

"WHAT IF EARTH ONE WORKED OUT BECAUSE IT WAS WRITTEN BY US AND WE MADE EVERYBODY TOTALLY EDGY AND ULTIMATE AND MARK MILLAR AND METAL AND FRANK MILLER AND BRIAN AZZARELLO AND SO COOL?"

"DO YA GET IT? 52 DAYS EARLIER? 52 DAYS LATER? REMEMBER THAT WEEKLY BOOK WRITTEN BY TALENTED WRITERS? REMEMBER THAT PUBLISHING INITIATIVE THAT FUCKED EVERYTHING UP?"

"WHAT IF DARKSEID WAS MAD ABOUT BEING DARKSEID, BUT WHAT HE REALLY WANTED WAS TO BE DARKSEID IN DARKSEID LAND, WHERE BEING DARKSEID WAS COOL?"

"WHAT IF ALL OF OUR CHARACTERS EXPLAINED EVERYTHING THAT WAS HAPPENING AND SAID EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE THINKING AND FEELING AND THEIR MOTIVATIONS WERE SIMPLE AND EASY TO UNDERSTAND? MAN, WRITING COMICS SURE IS EASY!"

"HEY, IT'S THE MIRACLE MACHINE! REMEMBER THAT? I READ A GRANT MORRISON COMIC GUYS! I LOVE LOOKING AT ALL THOSE PRETTY PICTURES IN THAT GRANT MORRISON COMIC!"

"DARKSEID DARKSEID DARKSEID OMEGA BEAMS DARKSEID APOKOLIPS I DIDN'T REALLY GET FINAL CRISIS BUT I READ THE DC WIKI PAGE DARKSEID DARKSEID DARKSEID!"

If there is one redeemable quality, it is the art. Sampere and Craig are very talented. It's a shame they have to waste their time drawing absolute nonsense. At least they get a check.more

The creative bankruptcy of modern superhero comics epitomized in just 25 pages, arbitrarily squishing together elements you remember from long ago, playing Weekend at Bernie's with the corpse of your lost childhood. No purpose to anything except to swaddle you in memories of when you used to buy comics because you loved them, desperately hoping that you'll pay to chase those fading traces the way an addict endlessly reaches for the beautiful feeling of that first high. Sometimes I worry that superhero comics are dying as their aging readership does; reading this comic makes me feel like it's time to take them out back and put them out of their misery.more

I'll start with the fact that the artwork on side A is really from the same artist that draws Wonder Woman and the only reason I'm still collecting that King title. Darkseid, the guy who is completely impervious to everything, hacks his own hand off with a simple axe. C'mon. I like Booster Gold, but I don't care about this gimmick called All-in. It's because DC can't keep readers on their normal c ontinuity titles, so they are shooting for the fences. I'm All-out.

My Comic Review Channel - https://youtu.be/3YhmGswxenwmore

It is basically meta universal Snyder obsession again. Darkseid finds his true self again (like a freaking schoolgirl) again. Wait, when did it happen last time? Oh yeah, last Crisis... God damn it, Snyder is as repetitive as much as Batman writers try to strip him of everything


Just hope Absolute Universe will slap regardless of it.