Astonishingly Awful's Profile

This is a review ONLY of the lead story, with Spoilers Galore.
1) Whatever happened to "Spidey sense is tingling" when a menace appeared?
2) In issue # 1 Aunt May was deathly ill. She's "died" once or maybe twice in the ensuing 60 years. Who cares what happens to her anymore?
3) Cormac's plan worked without revealing his secret. Why blow his cover?
4) And since he doesn't see m to have any criminal intent other than this, why have a super-villain costume and a name like "Ravage?"
5) That's a pretty extraordinary super-power, selectively removing all references in someone's brain to a specific person. And it's not just gone, but in an "essence?" Oh, I think we can all see what's coming next.
6) A 104 page anniversary issue should be able to tell a story without a cliff-hanger.
Horrible. The one poignant moment was when May asked Peter "who are you?" that could've turned into a really good story. But it quickly dissoved into nonsense.more

The good news: thanks to the guest artist, who isn’t great, but better than the regular artist, this is probably the best issue of X-Men United so far.
The bad news: it still sucks. And I don’t just mean Blade.

The Muppets Christmas Carol did it better. Plus, WTF happened to Tony Daniel? The guy had a style and some real magic twenty-five years ago, but this is just going through the motions.

Not much has changed from #1, except that the dialogue has gotten worse. This is the most horribly written mid-fight banter I've read in a while. The conversation between Cyclops and White Beast is probably the least sucky part of the issue, as it feels somewhat believable and grounded in the history of the two characters. Then again, who cares about the convoluted history of the umpteenth cloned or not cloned Beast at this point?more

Intriguing and excellently drawn by Ivan Reis as usual, but once again, the issue just ends... somewhere. If Johns could just fix the pacing issues, Hyde Street would be the perfect comic.

Great issue, although the message is being hammered home a little too strongly. We get it, it's about family, Mr. Johns, you don't have to say it five times on one page.

The art is good. Pepe Larraz never disappoints.

The rest of it... this might be the worst centenial issue. 900 was bad, at least 1000 looks better. Peter has gone through so much character assassination for the last 100 issues, i want to know why Marvel hates him do much. Peter Parker used to be a great hero, i have loved Spiderman since i was a kid in 90s but seeing this husk of a char acter now really sucks. Aside from the art, there wasnt much to enjoy here.

Unless you are collecting purely for the sake of having a milestone issue 1000, which i understand, im a collector also, i would recommend avoiding this issue. more

Let me get this clear upfront: I returned to this title solely because of the Pepe Larraz art. And it is - as usual - excellent.

That being said, I now remember why I wasn't able to fully enjoy this title in the past, even with Larraz on pencils. It's a fucking, never ending therapy session! And ASM #1000 is the epitome of all that.
Now, don't get me wrong, I like stories that d ive into the hero's deepest fears and traumata from time to time, but THIS. IS. JUST. TOO. MUCH. It's unbearable. And there's never a resolution, like, for instance, Peter triumphing over the self-destructive navel gazing and returning to being a true hero.
Can we, for one or two issues, just have Peter Parker beating up some bad guys he's not inextricably linked to via his Uncle Ben trauma, Venom or some other shit from his past? No, no we can't.
As a matter of fact, the back stories are doubling down on the endless soul searching stuff, giving us a pathetic "Old Man Spider-Man" story from the retirement home (yes, really) and other psycho crap and team-ups nobody asked for. And most of these stories aren't even drawn well.

In the past, the art always mattered to me as much as the writing when it comes to rating a book, but in this case, I'm making an exception. The stories, even the main story, are so terrible, that not even the most perfect art can justify their existence.more

The son of the Jim is back! Bug Wars: The Coming of the Wardoom has all the enchanting and exciting ingredients the first Bug Wars series had: the whimsy, the heart, the absurd insect action. I still think a different artist with greater emotional range would fit the story better (I'd love to see an issue drawn by Tom Reilly or Matt Smith of Folklords). Mahmud Asrar isn't a bad artist, but for me he's the weakest part of this almost perfect package.more

As a Marvel and Muppets fan, I just had to read this book. And I gotta say, it didn’t disappoint. The main story by Chip Zdarsky and Pete Woods is just great. The characters are on point, the jokes are landing and the art is just fantastic. This is almost too good for an event book like this. 9/10

The backup stories, however, are a mixed bag. While “Pigs of the Galaxy” is another hit (9 /10), the rest of them suffer from bad or nonexistent humor and not so great art.

In “A terrible invention”, Bunsen and Beaker look great. The human characters, Pym and Banner, not so much. (6/10).

In “Bad Man”, the obligatory Wolverine story, Animal is the only saving grace. For some reason, the way the artist draws him cracks me up. The rest of it - not so great. (4/10)

The Clea and Dr. Strange story was another miss for me. Not funny, and the art is what they call standard these days (which, to this 52 year old reader means, it sucks.) (5/10)

Apparently, they saved the worst for last. The Avengers casting the Muppets for a new superhero team is about as funny and entertaining as a dentist appointment. The art is sub par as well, which once again is more apparent with the human characters than the Muppets. (2/10)

All in all, this is another event issue that would have fared better with less material. However, in this case, the main story more than makes up for the disappointing backup features.
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Okay, now I’m hooked. While the heroes and villains fighting still reminds me of the worst 90s X-Men issues (no wonder, it’s the same artist), the dialogue between Modulok… Molokox… Multibot… whatever its name is, and its host(?), whose name I completely forgot, seems to hint at greater, more intriguing concepts. I really hope I’m right and this whole “superbeings beating the shit out of each othe r” stuff is just a façade for something deeper and more thought-provoking to be revealed later in the story.more

The cover gave me the impression that Simone Di Meo would continue his excellent work from X-Men of Apocalypse into this series. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. The interior art is quite poor and a dealbreaker for me.

The Joes vs Night force and its so good! this is really fantastic fast paced story telling. Real stakes, surprises , Transformers, and G.I B.a.t!? come on. The battle to track down baroness is all so awesome. Joshua Williamson cannot write Iron Man for shit, but this series is a banger!!

For some reason, this one had everything I wanted to see in last month‘s anniversary issue, but didn’t.

We get Kid Omega which I think is just an awful character, vs Cassandra Nova who is an awful villain from the terrible Morrison run. So why not take what should have been a few panels in an issue and spread it out over 22 pages then sell it for $4.99. If you've been into the DNX story well, you've been robbed by the DNX #1 for $5.99 and now this. 2 issues in and nothing has happened that even be gins the story you wanted to read about for $11 plus tax. it's insulting.this issue was a big nothing burger with uninspired art. Netho Diaz layouts have been slipping more and more. His panels get harder to understand at times and he simply gives up on any details during the X-men sentinel battle. IDK if he was rushing or simply doesn’t care, but it showed. more

This issue is not worth buying. A bold statement but let me explain. The art is manga inspired and ok. If you like that style you may in fact think it’s awesome. What about the story? Well, it's a complete rehash of a story not even one year old and a continuation , with zero conclusion or expansion of anything, to the last X-men issue.Here is the plot "The X-men are looking for 3k and trying to convince the FF to restore Magneto with a shit ton of talking." Thats it. However, this issue is the best writing Jed has done in a while...but it’s still not that good.
Back to my opening sentence- well I said the art is ok and the story is Jeds best writing on the title in some time.Why is it not worth buying considering that all the X-men books are absolutely terrible? This comic offers no story progression mid art and its $5.99. So what are you buying? its a cash grab. plain and simple. its not worth your dollars or time vs what you get. I'm so sick and tired of this type of treatment of fans. Jed should be removed from the title after 2 failed years so he can focus on Moonknight. Gail and Ewing should be fired from comics entirely and Saladin should not even write thank you cards much less a comics with what he's done to Wolverine. get new talent. clean house. Someone. anyone save the X-men. more

This could have been a five page scene. Instead, we get endless crappy dialogue and a Phoenix ex machina solution that makes Quentin Quire‘s involvement completely redundant. Granted, there are some creative page layouts, but all in all, this is not a battle that needed a whole issue to be told.
Interestingly, there’s another issue out this month, that dedicates a whole issue to one duel: Re dcoat #20. That book, however, has a good reason why it dedicates all of its pages to one fight, plus, it’s well executed. X-Men #37, in contrast, is just a (badly) drawn out subplot.more

I’m glad to see Diaz and Alpizar back on the art, just in time for the senses-shattering showdown between David Colton and the Red Hulk. I’m also happy to see I was wrong about my prognosis for Colton. Apparently, Marvel wants him on the good side. I’m not so sure though that the direction they have in mind for him is making a lot of sense, although I have to confess I don’t know much about (cens ored), except that he has the most hideous costume since Wonder Man.more