Contessa's Profile

Joined: Sep 03, 2021

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If I requested an AI generated Lower Decks story written with the tone of a snarky middle schooler, I imagine what I’d get would be something a lot like this

Star Trek: Day of Blood: Shaxs' Best Day

By: Ryan North, Derek Charm
Released: Sep 27, 2023

You've seen Captains Benjamin Sisko and Worf with their crews of the U.S.S. Theseus and Defiant stop the fascist, god-killing clone Kahless II from declaring war on non-followers across the galaxy in a brutal battle on Qo'noS. But you haven't seen it from the eyes of the man, the myth, the legend-Lieutenant Junior Grade Shaxs!
Fro...

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8.5

Felt like old school comic fun, no pretenses of being more than it is and no woke garbage shoehorned in

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. Street Fighter #1

By: Paul Allor, Ariel Medel
Released: Jun 7, 2023

When a prestigious martial arts tournament invites fighters to travel to Atlantic City and test their skills, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles jump at the chance to compete. But a big stage means big competition, and the world famous STREET FIGHTERS have shown up in force to prove the mettle of their PSYCHO POWERED fighting forms.
As if that's ...

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Contessa reviewed Daredevil #10 Apr 27, 2023
4.5

Zdarsky is usually a pretty decent story teller but here he gets in his own way by using Daredevil as his mouthpiece to spout his hatred of cops and his ridiculously ignorant opinions about the criminal justice system.

Daredevil #10

By: Chip Zdarsky, Marco Checchetto
Released: Apr 26, 2023

A TURNING POINT! With Elektra at his side, Matt Murdock has launched his most ambitious campaign against injustice EVER, but as recent explosive and destructive events have unfolded, he has found himself more and more isolated - and with fewer allies than ever before?
Rated T+

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Contessa - Jun 3, 2023

put their lives on the line every day to ensure the safety of others. Further while bullies with a badge are real, as there are bad apples in every profession, these represent a very small minority among a mostly honorable profession that do not deserve to have their entire profession disparaged because of a few bad actors. Finally, contrary to your statement that the interactions of “millions of people” are “overwhelmingly negative,” the truth is that the interactions of cops with millions of

Contessa - Jun 3, 2023

people are in reality overwhelmingly positive as proven by a recent Gallup poll that shows 86% of Americans, and 81% of black Americans, want police to spend as much or more time in their neighborhoods.

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superstan52 reviewed Daredevil #10 Apr 27, 2023
4.0

This arc (and particularly this issue) is like quantum physics: anyone who claims to understand it, doesn't.

Daredevil #10

By: Chip Zdarsky, Marco Checchetto
Released: Apr 26, 2023

A TURNING POINT! With Elektra at his side, Matt Murdock has launched his most ambitious campaign against injustice EVER, but as recent explosive and destructive events have unfolded, he has found himself more and more isolated - and with fewer allies than ever before?
Rated T+

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Contessa reviewed Moon Knight #19 Feb 5, 2023
6.5

The phrase “boys, girls, and non-binaries” was so stupid. Zodiac embraces villainy and rejects guilt but at the same time he makes sure to use the latest socially acceptable neologisms? But aside from that brief moment of ridiculousness, the rest of the story wasn’t bad.

Moon Knight #19

By: Jed MacKay, Frederico Sabbatini
Released: Jan 11, 2023

Moon Knight delves into the depths of the Earth to bring vengeance and justice to the subterranean seas of New York City while wrestling with new revelations brought to light by savage murder. Meanwhile, what exactly has Zodiac been up to all this time...?
Rated T+

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Contessa reviewed Lazarus Planet: Alpha #1 Jan 23, 2023
6.5

The story itself was decent but the way Robin was drawn was distractingly bad, he looked like Christopher Mintz-Plasse trying to play Red Mist back when he was still McLovin

Lazarus Planet: Alpha #1

By: Mark Waid, Riccardo Federici
Released: Jan 11, 2023

CHANGE THE WORLD. Following the explosive (literally) events of Batman vs. Robin #4, the Lazarus Volcano has erupted, spewing dangerous and transformative chemicals into Earth's atmosphere! As these Lazarus clouds rain down upon the planet, people across the globe begin to develop strange new abilities, watch their already-extraordinary abilities c...

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8.5

THIS IS HOW YOU WRITE A STORY. Gaiman nailed the character development, building empathy for Young Miracleman as a man not only decades removed from his own time and confused by the new world that he sees, but also a man dealing with the realization that his own memories of those decades were false to begin with. And that kiss took things from 0 to 100 faster than anything I’ve ever seen in comi more

Miracleman by Gaiman & Buckingham: The Silver Age #2

By: Neil Gaiman, Mark Buckingham
Released: Nov 23, 2022

• Gaiman and Buckingham's epic has returned and you won't believe where the story goes.
•  Miracleman has his old friend back, but Young Miracleman has never felt more alone.
•  Where can a hero from a simpler time call home in this brave new world?
•  Remastered from MIRACLEMAN (1985) #24 with stunning new artwork by M...

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Contessa reviewed Superman: Son of Kal-El #16 Oct 14, 2022
1.0

The real Superman was someone that put others before himself and was someone others could look up to. This whole series Jonathan has been nothing more than an entitled brat. Between that and the terrible art, I guess there’s no real mystery as to why this series is being canceled.

Superman: Son of Kal-El #16

By: Tom Taylor, Cian Tormey
Released: Oct 12, 2022

"KAL-EL RETURNS" PART 2!
Father and son are at last reunited after the Warworld Saga ripped them apart...and you don't need to have super-senses to know that this is a reunion well earned. As planet Earth becomes reacquainted with the rise of two Supermen, one man stands in their way. Lex Luthor sets his deadly machinations in motion as the ma...

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RKS reviewed Superman: Son of Kal-El #16 Oct 14, 2022
1.0

The art on this issue was bad as usual. They really need to learn how to draw faces. Turn to pages 7-8 to view the faces of Lois and Jon, their faces seem to be some sort of elongated elf face type.

Then there is the horrible writing where they make Lex Luthor more likeable and a better citizen than Jon. Taylor points out that Jon has no respect for the law such as trespassing and or more

Superman: Son of Kal-El #16

By: Tom Taylor, Cian Tormey
Released: Oct 12, 2022

"KAL-EL RETURNS" PART 2!
Father and son are at last reunited after the Warworld Saga ripped them apart...and you don't need to have super-senses to know that this is a reunion well earned. As planet Earth becomes reacquainted with the rise of two Supermen, one man stands in their way. Lex Luthor sets his deadly machinations in motion as the ma...

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Contessa reviewed Daredevil #4 Oct 14, 2022

Cool to see Matt and Elektra rockin Derelicte by Mugatu

Daredevil #4

By: Chip Zdarsky, Rafael de Latorre
Released: Oct 12, 2022

A PERILOUS TREK! For months, Elektra Natchios has been developing a plan to save the world from the violent and ruthless HAND by rebuilding its opposite equal - the FIST. And with the world at large believing he's dead, Matt Murdock has become her most trusted ally. But Elektra needs more than just an ally - she needs a partner. And in this issue, ...

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1.5

Power Rangers Unlimited: The Death Ranger #1

By: Paul Allor, Katherine Lobo
Released: Aug 31, 2022

THE LEGENDARY OMEGA RANGERS defended the universe from evil thousands of years ago, the six of them  using their elemental powers to protect others from sinister forces.

But that all changed when one key member turned on the others, seduced by the death-defying powers of the Rangers' greatest foe.

How does this Ranger co...

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Contessa liked this:
3.0

DC's Saved By The Belle Reve #1

By: Dan Watters, Karl Kerschl
Released: Aug 31, 2022

School’s back in session, and we just know you’re waiting for the BELLE to give you some REVElief…all right, you can’t say we didn’t try! Saved by the Belle Reve’s halls are packed with eight tales of schooltime fun from around the DC Universe! The Suicide Squad is sent to an international prep school to protect a dignitary’s son! Joh...

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1.0

People wondering why DC can’t make any money need only look at this $10 atrocity. This is just one example of many that shows that the publishing house has no respect for their fan base

DC's Saved By The Belle Reve #1

By: Dan Watters, Karl Kerschl
Released: Aug 31, 2022

School’s back in session, and we just know you’re waiting for the BELLE to give you some REVElief…all right, you can’t say we didn’t try! Saved by the Belle Reve’s halls are packed with eight tales of schooltime fun from around the DC Universe! The Suicide Squad is sent to an international prep school to protect a dignitary’s son! Joh...

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1.0

Take your $8 and buy any two issues of the Mighty Morphin or Power Rangers regular series by Ryan Parrott. Anything you buy would be better than this.

Power Rangers Unlimited: The Death Ranger #1

By: Paul Allor, Katherine Lobo
Released: Aug 31, 2022

THE LEGENDARY OMEGA RANGERS defended the universe from evil thousands of years ago, the six of them  using their elemental powers to protect others from sinister forces.

But that all changed when one key member turned on the others, seduced by the death-defying powers of the Rangers' greatest foe.

How does this Ranger co...

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Contessa reviewed Superman: Son of Kal-El #12 Jun 14, 2022
1.5

The art is bad, the story is bad, every single portrayal of Jonathan makes him look either mopey or constipated

Superman: Son of Kal-El #12

By: Tom Taylor, Cian Tormey
Released: Jun 15, 2022

Lex Luthor and President Bendix have joined forces to unleash the Gamorra Corps on Superman...and put a stop to the first son of the Last Son of Krypton once and for all. But a new hero has joined the fight...and he's going to use that tin-can suit like a chew toy if Luthor isn't careful. Welcome back, Krypto. Who's a good boy?

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Batmanaholic - Jun 18, 2022

Hey I'd take a moody constipated Tim drake over the suddenly super twink he is now, drawn with girls eyelashes and chibi art super happy style. God this is the dumbest time in comics history.

The writing was good, the art was great, but Jonathan as a new leader of the Justice League? I wouldn’t follow him to a Mcdonald’s that was giving away free hamburgers.

Dark Crisis on Infinite Earths #1

By: Joshua Williamson, Daniel Sampere
Released: Jun 8, 2022

Crisis on Infinite Earths. Infinite Crisis. Final Crisis. And now...Dark Crisis! The epic event years in the making is finally here! Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and the rest of the Justice League are dead. The remaining heroes are left to protect the world from an onslaught of violent attacks by DC's greatest villains! Can the legacy heroes ste...

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Contessa reviewed Action Comics Annual: 2022 Jun 1, 2022
9.5

Perhaps the biggest inconsistency in comics is that someone like Clark from this comic would raise someone like Jonathan in Taylor’s Superman

Action Comics Annual: 2022

By: Philip Kennedy Johnson, Ian Churchill
Released: Jun 1, 2022

As the Warworld Saga reaches a breaking point, battle lines are drawn between the two towering forces at odds: Mongul and Superman. In this special 2022 annual we'll explore how our combatants have evolved over the years to represent the beacons of hope and tyranny that they respectively embody...and witness the first chilling chapter of their ulti...

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Contessa posted on their own profile Mar 16, 2022

What happened to Merlyn?

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Merlyn reviewed Action Comics #1039 Jan 25, 2022
7.0

Truth, Justice and the American Way. Come on, PKJ, you're not a lefty who hates America but pretends he doesn't, I know that, say it after me: Truth, Justice and the American Way. Nothing to be ashamed of, believe me.

Putting that aside, this is an ok issue, as is this run so far. Ok, but nothing especially great. I usually like Federici's art but here I feel like he didn't have the cha more

Action Comics #1039

By: Shawn Aldridge, Riccardo Federici
Released: Jan 26, 2022

“The Warworld Saga, Part III.” Everything has changed. After the heart-stopping events of Action Comics #1037, Superman and the surviving members of the Authority see a side of Warworld they never knew existed. In the lower catacombs, Superman finds another survivor of the lost Phaelosian race of Krypton, a scientist turned enslaved gladiator w...

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Merlyn - Jan 25, 2022

I know that he saw them during his vision, I remember that. It does seem unrealistically when he says he has no idea what that he means but that he's SURE the writing runs upward. Like, I don't know arabic but I only know the writing goes from right to left only because it's a verified knowledge, otherwise I'd have no fucking clue. Same goes about Mandarin. I just find that bit very convenient.

Merlyn - Jan 25, 2022

It's lazy because we don't have any translation, we have no idea what they're talking about and that was my point, PKJ just fills some pages with "dialogue" that doesn't actually mean anything. Of couse alien species communicate in their own language and we always see that across comics but usually it comes with a translation. Here it just seems like PKJ needs to fill up the number of pages with something and he chooses that gibberish. I'd be much more content with letting Federici's art shine.

Contessa is now following Merlyn Feb 8, 2022

Merlyn

Reviews: 1117

Pull List: 0

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Contessa dropped Dark Ages (2021) from their pull list Feb 8, 2022

Dark Ages (2021)

This is what the Watcher has been watching for!
•  A danger older than the Earth threatens everything. For once, the heroes who have saved the planet so many times are almost powerless in the face of it.
•  X-Men and Avengers assemble. Spider-People and Fantastic Four come together. Heroes for Hire fight alongside Champions.  
...

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KFuqua reviewed Superman: Son of Kal-El #8 Feb 8, 2022
1.0

More garbage writing and awful artwork.

Superman: Son of Kal-El #8

By: Tom Taylor, Cian Tormey
Released: Feb 9, 2022

Henry Bendix's plans for ultimate control threaten every superhero on Earth. And, in trying to stand against the dictator of Gamorra, Superman makes himself a target of business and world leaders. He is seen by too many as a force that must be stopped. How much can even a Man of Steel stand against before he bends?

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Merlyn reviewed Superman: Son of Kal-El #8 Feb 8, 2022
2.5

The only thing I liked here is that we FINALLY get an idea about Bendix's plan, that's the only good thing here. Everything else is just stupid and propagandistic beyond belief. The good news is this book isn't selling and I think it's going to get cancelled pretty soon. If Wonder Girl got cancelled, which wasn't a great book but it was definitely better than this crap, I think this will get cance more

Superman: Son of Kal-El #8

By: Tom Taylor, Cian Tormey
Released: Feb 9, 2022

Henry Bendix's plans for ultimate control threaten every superhero on Earth. And, in trying to stand against the dictator of Gamorra, Superman makes himself a target of business and world leaders. He is seen by too many as a force that must be stopped. How much can even a Man of Steel stand against before he bends?

Contessa reviewed Superman: Son of Kal-El #8 Feb 8, 2022
1.5

The art is terrible, the writing’s terrible, the way Jon was drawn he looks like a constipated beaver

Superman: Son of Kal-El #8

By: Tom Taylor, Cian Tormey
Released: Feb 9, 2022

Henry Bendix's plans for ultimate control threaten every superhero on Earth. And, in trying to stand against the dictator of Gamorra, Superman makes himself a target of business and world leaders. He is seen by too many as a force that must be stopped. How much can even a Man of Steel stand against before he bends?

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Merlyn - Feb 8, 2022

I genuinely loled at the beaver comment. :)))

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Merlyn reviewed X-Men: Onslaught Revelation #1 Sep 22, 2021
6.0

"What we offer is no mere cult" Yeah, sorry to rain on your parade, Si, but that's definitely a cult you have there even if you want to pass it as a "culture". I may be too harsh with the rating for this one, I admit, but that's only because I was generous enough in the past when Spurrier kept promising this great resolution to the story and I'm sorry to say but this wasn't it. A communistic hivem more

X-Men: Onslaught Revelation #1

By: Simon Spurrier, Bob Quinn
Released: Sep 22, 2021

YOU HAVE STRAYED FROM THE WAY OF X. THE ONSLAUGHT IS UPON YOU!
•  The X-Men's greatest foe, mutantkind's primal evil, slithers in the minds of its most senior leaders...
•  The kids whisper of the CRUCI-BALL: a party to end all parties. A party to end everything.
•  The seals are broken, the trumpets have sounded; only a sma...

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Merlyn - Sep 23, 2021

Sure, if you want your head bashed in in the street and thugs entering your home like it's theirs, abolish police. Since I'm not suicidal like that, I don't care for any of that.

Contessa - Sep 24, 2021

@maelstron whenever police funding is cut, there is an increase in violent crime that disproportionately affects the black community

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Merlyn reviewed I Am Batman #1 Sep 14, 2021
1.5

Wow, this one was bad. I mean, I expected that but I thought since they brought Coipel, Ridley would try something better but nope. Let's just see some lines here.

"He can't see behind my mask. Or that I've appropriated a mask he helped create" YES, Ridley, thank you. This coming just after talking about sincerity is incredibly ironic but I loved it. At least deep down he knows he's doi more

I Am Batman #1

By: John Ridley, Olivier Coipel
Released: Sep 15, 2021

In the throes of Future State, the streets of Gotham City cry for justice and Jace Fox answers the call! With a new and improved Bat-Suit, Jace hits the streets to inspire and protect…as he follows the trail of the voice of misinformation and violence-the anarchistic Anti-Oracle! Can the new Dark Knight counterbalance their plan to inspire armed ...

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Toonstrack - Sep 18, 2021

Oh I investigated lmao. You aren't fooling anyone. Well... you're fooling some folks clearly. Haunting mind... I like the sound of that. I'll be stealing jt

SenpaifenixJäger - Sep 18, 2021

And on a note ,Toonstrack , there are people who have occupations, maybe you don't understand that the world revolves beyond comics. You know, school, work, friends. If you look out the window, you will see a real world outside, where normal people live and engage in various activities.

Contessa reviewed Way of X #5 Sep 5, 2021
9.0

The best X title in a long, long time, sad to see it drawing to a close

Way of X #5

By: Si Spurrier, Bob Quinn
Released: Aug 18, 2021

THIS IS THE WAY!  
•  What happens when the third law of Krakoa is broken?
•  What happens when all other solutions have failed?
•  What happens when Nightcrawler finally finds the Way?
Rated T+

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Fracadactyl reviewed Shang-Chi #3 Jul 28, 2021
9.0

Now here're the bits of Shang-Chi that I like to see. Shang has always been someone willing to support family rather than try to push them apart, even if he fumbles about it.

So when the new Sister Staff turns out to be a mutant, it's nice to see how many people are willing to go to her defense. As well as the spectrum when it comes to anti-mutant attitudes. The people filming Sister St more

Shang-Chi #3

By: Gene Luen Yang, Dike Ruan
Released: Jul 28, 2021

SHANG-CHI VS WOLVERINE!
•  Shang-Chi discovers yet another sibling he never knew he had!
•  Even more surprising...she's a mutant!
•  You know what that means...Shang-Chi won't be the only one looking for her.
•  Enter: Wolverine!
Rated T+

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Contessa reviewed Shang-Chi #3 Sep 5, 2021
8.0

I’m a huge fan of the theme of trying to support your family through thick and thin, I’m new to the character of Shang-Chi but I thought the stories so far have been good.

Shang-Chi #3

By: Gene Luen Yang, Dike Ruan
Released: Jul 28, 2021

SHANG-CHI VS WOLVERINE!
•  Shang-Chi discovers yet another sibling he never knew he had!
•  Even more surprising...she's a mutant!
•  You know what that means...Shang-Chi won't be the only one looking for her.
•  Enter: Wolverine!
Rated T+

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SenpaifenixJäger reviewed Dark Ages #1 Sep 1, 2021
6.5

At the moment he is not making any character a Disney princess or taking absurd politics. Which is good, a interesting proposal, as it feels a bit lost and doesn't catch you enough, we'll see where it leads in the next issue.

Dark Ages #1

By: Tom Taylor, Iban Coello
Released: Sep 1, 2021

This is what the Watcher has been watching for!
•  A danger older than the Earth threatens everything. For once, the heroes who have saved the planet so many times are almost powerless in the face of it.
•  X-Men and Avengers assemble. Spider-People and Fantastic Four come together. Heroes for Hire fight alongside Champions.  
...

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