CaptnAmerca's Profile

Joined: Mar 28, 2019

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5.6
Overall Rating
10
Batman: Curse of the White Knight #7 Mar 10, 2020

A perfect Conan episode. It captures the ethos of Conan as well as anyone since Robert E. Howard. The art more than keeps up with the writing. The best single issue of Conan I've ever read, and one of the best penultimate chapters in any series going.

I can't say a bad thing about this issue.

They got me good with this one :)

I cant say anything bad about this issue.

10
James Bond 007 (2018) #5 Mar 28, 2019

The first three pages are a better Kent Family story than anything Bendis has done since taking over. The rest of the book is just as good. Big space battle scenes that aren't overwhelming and confusing, and an emotionally satisfying sacrifice that works.

I love how this series knows when to step on the gas when the story calls for it. Beautifully calculated chaos. My favorite panel was a throwaway shot of missiles launching from a battleship in the dark. I don't know why. It was a quick cut but it just looked so real. I'm not doing a very good job at explaining why I love this series. Maybe I can't. Maybe it's just a visceral gut reaction. Just poking at the exact spot in my brain with the correct puzzle piece. Art, man.

An excellent ending to the first act. If only Prometheus could have been a tenth as good as this series. I'm going back to read the entire run again.

This one hit all the right notes for me.

9.5
Guardians of the Galaxy (2019) #12 Dec 26, 2019

I love how Hickman "Bendis-ed" Bendis' own character.

9.5
Immortal Hulk #31 Feb 16, 2020
9.5
Joker: Killer Smile #1 Nov 5, 2019

That was a pretty impressive debut issue. I was ready to write off Marvel Zombies completely, but this one had atmosphere that was lacking in previous series.

This series had been trending down for a while until the current team took over. Even then, it's been a little shaky. This is the issue where everything finally came together in a big way. The King Gary plot has been good so far, and this one took it to the next level. For the first time in months (years?) I'm anticipating the next issue.

I was prepared to hate this, or at the very least be seriously disappointed. I like Venom, but Carnage has been played out for a good twenty years now. He's one of those characters Marvel should have permanently killed off. He was a one-note "extreme!" psycho back in the 90s, and has only gotten more overpowered and ridiculous since then. But this was an incredible beginning for this event. Even if the whole thing fizzles out like 90% of Marvel's big crossovers, this issue was fantastic.

9.0
Absolute Carnage (2019) #2 Sep 1, 2019

I am beyond sick of the Batman Who Laughs, but I have to admit this was a pretty exciting issue.

The scene when Batman sees Barbara running out of the hospital, and the realization hits him was a gut punch. It still is, the next day thinking about it as I type this.

A wild caper, and an emotional core. I love it.

I love that little shark

Delightful!

9.0
James Bond: Origin #8 Apr 30, 2019

This is pretty fucked up.

Some wonky art, especially on Guy Gardner, but high marks for summing up the last year or so of Source Wall/Perpetua mumbo jumbo. Plus, a dash of Jarro, who I love.

I feel like I just took a big bong-full of years of DC crossovers. I have no idea what's going on, but I'm digging it.

I really liked this, and I wasn't expecting it at all. I thought it would just be another "X-team" book that does the same old stuff with a slightly different roster. Red Queen of the Seas Kate Pryde! ARRRRRRRR! I'm in.

9.0
Old Man Quill #4 Apr 19, 2019

I am impressed! Well done story that didn't try and turn Star Trek into Star Wars.

Another solid issue! I wasn't planning on paying for CBS just to watch the upcoming show, but the quality of this comic is making me seriously rethink that!

This has been a hard series to keep reading, but this issue finally struck me. There was real dread when the enemy arrived. You can practically hear ominous alien invasion music in your head. This is the issue that finally resonated. I'll go back and reread them all now

This book is absolutely beautiful. It's just so vivid. I feel like I'm watching it, not reading it.

9.0
Valkyrie: Jane Foster #5 Dec 4, 2019

I generally haven't liked this series, but this issue have me a couple of good genuine laughs

Better than any Wonder Woman comic in the last year

Creepy! The smiles on the adults' faces are worth the money alone.

This was just silly enough for my taste.

I'm pretty much over the zombie craze, yet i really liked this one. Can't explain that.

The bit about Namor was genuinely hilarious.

That was pretty messed up, but I liked it.

8.5
The Life And Death Of Toyo Harada #2 Apr 16, 2019

Riding a pegasus through Heaven and Hell, with a dead God on your back... It's practically The Night Begins To Shine come to life. I like it.

I'm not sure where Hank gets this high opinion of himself. Didn't he kidnap the younger versions of the X-Men just to scold Cyclops for much of the same reasons he's using to justify his own murder spree here?

8.0
Amazing Mary Jane (2019) #2 Dec 4, 2019

The lack of praise for this book baffles me. It's exactly the kind of out-of-the-box story you'd think would resonate with the turtleneck crowd. I don't love it, but it's entertaining and different and FUN.

8.0
Dead Eyes (2019) #1 Oct 2, 2019

Jeff the Land Shark saved this one for me

Reed Richards: Dick

8.0
James Bond 007 (2018) #6 Apr 19, 2019

If I had bought this in a physical store, I would have flipped through it and probably put it back for being "too cutesy". I bought it digitally, so I was surprised by the art and story. It wasn't bad, though. I thought it was light-hearted and amusing. Perfect for kids. I'll echo the sentiment that not every comic has to be super-serious, or adult-oriented humor.

A pleasant surprise.

I liked this. I wasn't expecting it to be so light and goofy, but it was, and it worked for me. I have my doubts on the story having any staying power, but this single issue gets good marks from me.

"A walking talking Hippocratic oath violation" I'm sorry, that is a terrible line. The rest of the issue was a pretty good fight between Valkyrie and Bullseye. I'm still onboard with this series. "Wait, didn't Spider-Man kill someone doing this?" Now that's funny.

I'm interested enough to read another issue, but Peter Parker looked like Troy Aikman and that's weird.

Not a direction I thought it would go in, but I'm on board for another issue.

7.5
Star Wars: Tie Fighter #1 Apr 17, 2019

Wow. For such a heavy issue it's almost too light. *Wham Bam Plop Flush Moving on...*

Great idea, less great execution. Still good enough to give it another issue. I'll be back.

For as hyped as this thing was, it was pretty underwhelming. I'll give it a chance, but I'm already getting that Lazarus vibe, where Rucka just got ridiculous in his non-sensical world-building. China calls in their debts? That's not how any of this works!

I'm quickly reaching my limit for this Year of the Villain stuff, and I've been sick of Batman Who Laughs for what feels like ages now, but I liked this issue. I am a man of contradictions.

The appearance of Old Man Superboy and Robin made this issue for me. I will miss the Super Sons when they are gone. Oh, and piss off, Bendis!

A selfish solution from a selfish man. The End.

7.0
Livewire (2018) #5 Apr 16, 2019
6.5
Amazing Spider-Man (2018) #22 Jun 3, 2019

Not bad, but I'm just sick of the Batman Who Laughs entirely. DC beat the character to death months ago. Let it go.

6.5
Star Wars: Age Of Rebellion: Grand Moff Tarkin #1 Apr 11, 2019

Not bad, but pretty forgettable.

Better than some of the other one-shots, but still not very good.

Very much a "writer's" story, rather than an X-O one. Overall, this was a good run though. The entire team can be proud of it.

6.0
Age Of X-Man: X-Tremists #2 Mar 31, 2019

I can't give it anymore than a 6.0, and most of that is based on potential and faith in Lemire. This issue didn't advance the story beyond the cover and the solicits, and the back story was vague and generic. I'll be back for issue #2 though.

Gotta get better soon. Can't live off of Lemire's reputation much longer.

What is Valiant doing with Bloodshot lately? The last series was terrible and this is a pretty bland kickoff for a new series.

6.0
Die #7 Sep 13, 2019

I just don't find the Bronte family story interesting enough to carry the entire issue.

This series may have peaked. The story gets cornier each month.

I really like this series, but this issue had too many things to cram in to fit the "decade" concept. The Parker Family, Morlun, 9/11, and Civil War is just too much to do any single part justice.

The delay was too long. I'd completely lost track of the story, so this entire issue was one big "huh?" for me. The art was incredible though. Major props for that.

What the heck just happened? It's been a few months since the last issue of Turok, and this one just throws some crazy-ass shit right at you.

I'm quickly running out of slack to give this book.

6.0
War of the Realms: Uncanny X-Men #1 May 1, 2019

This entire arc has been tedious. The dialog between Giganta and Diana was especially bad this issue. Why can't anyone write a compelling wonder Woman comic anymore?

5.5
Powers of X #1 Aug 5, 2019

Ned Toblowsky? Bing!

Free your mind...peace, love...groovy colors...Scooby-Doo dialog...BRUTAL MURDERS! Weird book.

5.0
Age Of X-Man: The Amazing Nightcrawler #3 Apr 18, 2019
5.0
Captain America (2018) #13 Sep 2, 2019
5.0
Captain America (2018) #14 Sep 30, 2019

What is going on in this comic lately? This is all incredibly boring and uninteresting. The art is great, though.

Another miss by the writer. The entire run sounds how someone thinks older white guys think, but whiffs badly because this is not just random old white dude, it's Captain America. Art is childish too.

5.0
Captain America (2018) #20 Mar 28, 2020

Not very interesting. The lead character is pretty unlikable. The series synopsis sounds good, and Lemire has more hits than misses. This might be a miss though.

I can't get over how stupid those big gears on Iron Man's suit are.

Cute, but the one-note joke gets played-out real quick. Not worth your time. The extended preview in the back is the real reason this was published, I suspect. And it wasn't that great either.

Bland and forgettable. It fails to elicit any real response from me, good or bad.

Just as useless as the character. Tries to piggyback on better material but remains shallow and weak.

None of these one-shots have been very good. This one is just as not-very-good as the rest.

Bah.

I read the entire series and I can't remember a single character.

Why did they even bother trying to cram that much story into a regular size issue? Tolkien would have told him to edit it down a bit.

5.0
The Forgotten Queen #3 May 2, 2019
5.0
Undiscovered Country #4 Mar 10, 2020

No wonder the film never get made. This series was a total dud.

5.0
Wonder Woman (2016) #79 Sep 27, 2019

Big miss on the characterization. I'm not buying Alfred's sudden turn into hippie logic. And the detective work was all flash, no substance. Bruce just figured everything out spontaneously. Like he was being fed insights from a script, rather than coming to any logical conclusions. 12 issues? No thanks.

Bendis loves the sound of his own voice. I, however, do not. The art was good. Of course he's going to shoehorn his other characters into this book too. Can't wait until this puts is gone.

4.0
Action Comics (2016) #1010 Apr 27, 2019

Bendis keeps on Bendis-ing.

The conclusion was just as bad as the rest. Good riddance!

That's it?

Waste of time. Look, man...I'm sorry you never got to do a Catwoman & Lois Lane bachelorette party, but that's entirely your own fault. Cramming it in now is just being a spoiled baby. Move it along, or walk away.

This arc had more filler than a gas station hot dog. Glad it's over.

The biggest disparity between beautiful visuals and incoherent plot since Prometheus.

Another Tom King issue, another waste of time.

This entire run has been up it's own ass with fake profundity. Get over yourself, dude.

4.0
Death's Head (2019) #2 Aug 22, 2019

Four issues in and the pace has gotten so slow that I've forgotten what the plot is anymore. Why is this such a big deal again?

There's nothing new here worth learning about Finn. He's a stormtrooper with a heart of gold. This comic expands on that a little, but doesn't really add anything interesting.

Nope, still an annoying twat.

4.0
Superman (2018) #13 Jul 16, 2019

Meh. This series was a real dud, and the final chapter is half-assed and unconvincing.

4.0
You Are Obsolete #4 Dec 14, 2019

I'm going to do what Bendis can't...finish a thought in a clear and concise manner. Bendis' Superman comics are terrible. All of them.

This comic gave me no compelling reason for it to exist.

A dud issue of a dud series that's part of a dud event.

I loved the first arc of this series, but i didn't like anything about this one.

Yeesh that was bad

Another baby step forward, wrapped up in pretentiousness. This entire run is written by Otho from Beetlejuice -- a guy so convinced of his artistic greatness that he's oblivious to how buffoonish he looks.

That's it? Man, what a disappointing series. There was nothing out of the ordinary here. The twist was that this is an absolute on the rails barbarian fish out of water story. No new ground tread at all. The art was good, but wasted on the weak, derivative story. This was like a Trust Fund White Boy Reggae Cover Band - technically proficient but utterly lacking in originality or soul.

This is a terrible run on Captain America that needs to end soon.

This combines two of the recent DC storylines that I've liked the least, Heroes in Crisis and Dark Multiverse. I have no interest in continuing either of those plotlines. I hope Wally comes through it as a good character again, but I'm out.

3.0
Giant-Size X-Men (2020): Jean Grey And Emma Frost #1 Mar 10, 2020

If the point of this series was to say that mental health issues should be swept under the rug and never spoken of again, then this has been a spectacular success.

3.0
House of X #2 Aug 16, 2019
3.0
Marvel 2099 (2019): Fantastic Four #1 Nov 27, 2019

I don't think I missed an issue of the new 2099, but what the hell did i just read here!?!

Bendis' rewrite of the story of Krypton's destruction continues to be bad, and only looks to get worse. The dialogue is out-of-place and inconsistent for the characters. I really hate this run. The art is pretty great, though.

I actively hate this series now.

Thank God that's over. That was the worst run of Bloodshot I've ever read. Please, Valiant, please just ignore it and move on. Let's never speak of it again

I'm still not sure how he went from having a tragic accident to framing two innocent people and setting then against each other. That's an Anakin Skywalker Killing Younglings leap of villainy right there.

2.0
Superman (2018) #18 Dec 16, 2019

Bendis pats himself on the back for his own story, then tacks on a few pages of Mongol fight when that fizzles out. Poop.

Oh my God, I thought Action Comics was bad. This is worse. Bemdis' big lame villain, who he wasted all these issues with is, just arrested, off-panel, like a jewelry store thief. Oh, and just like Action Comics, it ends on a cliffhanger that is actually a commercial for another Bendis project.

When is this dookie-flinger going to leave?

I've never given a "1.0" before, but this issue earned it. Total crap in every regard.

Another 30-page Bendis jackoff/commercial for his latest attempt at creating another Miles Morales. Boo this man! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The only thing worse than a Bendis event is Bendis jumping into the of an existing event. Uh and the art is trash too.

I'm here to pile on. The writing and the art were pure garbage. Of course Bendis is going to make his own character the mayor of Metropolis. She just moved there six months ago. She's a surefire bet to win! Red Cloud still sucks. Superman revealing his secret to someone he's talked to maybe 5 times? Speaking of things that suck...hey, it's Leviathan! Why not just add some Rogol Zaar too, since we're just flaunting the Geneva Conventions here.

This Bendis guy kind of sucks, huh?

Like waiting for an old lady to cross the street.

Please move on, Bendis. You just plain suck. Take your talents to Bazooka Joe comics.

Straight garbage. I can't even tell what happened to the Parasite creature. It was just suddenly defeated so we could get more of Bendis's really Red Cloud.

1.0
Action Comics (2016) #1027 Jan 12, 2021
1.0
Batman (2016) #79 Sep 21, 2019

This is the worst issue of Batman I've ever read.

King and Bendis in a two way race for Worst DC Writer.

This was all very dumb, and I can't wait for it to be over, but I'll bring up one very stupid point. If you take King's motivations for Thomas Wayne at face value, then he would have shot The Joker I the head as he lay prone in the church. That would be the single most helpful thing he could have done for Bruce. One more issue of this masquerade.

Good riddance, you flatulating butthead. Grab Bendis on your way out the door.

1.0
Captain America (2018) #28 Apr 11, 2021

To call this event a dud would be an insult to duds. Even Milk Duds, which are pretty freaking disappointing. So we know who Leviathan is now. Whoopty Floopty Ding Damn Doo!

That ended like a wet fart.

Nice reminder of how good Super Sons used to be until DC let Bendis age-up Jon just so he could be in Bendis' new Legion book. Bendis sucks, but that's like a known quantity at this point. DC sucks more for tanking one of their best titles just to accommodate him. I miss Super Sons, is what I'm saying, and this issue was just lemon juice in a paper cut.

I'm used to giving a 1-star review based entirely on Bendis' shitty writing taking an artist down with him, but this is the rare case where the art earned a 1-star too. Good job, I guess. DC, time to admit you got hosed. For football fans, hiring Bendis was the equivalent of trading up to draft Mitchell Trubisky.

Still poop.

Blarf.

This book is poop.

An extra sized wet fart.

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